Monday, June 17, 2019

Something Is On The Way, But I wouldn't Call It Help

We all see the happy headlines of the local sports rags.

"Help is on the way." And we see the smiling faces of Giancarlo Stanton and Aaron Judge, as they "hip bump" with joy in their Yankee uniforms.

Aaron Judge, if he is indeed healthy, is a legitimate ballplayer who helps in every way. He plays defense, he takes ball four, and he hits mammoth HRs about 30 plus times a year.

Note to editor;  a home run that leaves the park by six inches counts the same as one that  travels 500 feet, so don't get caught up in the hype and display.  Exceptionally powerful swings are the reason he pulled his core muscles all to shit. And you feel them most when you strike out.

Giancarlo is a fish of another kettle.  He was MVP once for all the wrong reasons, in a different lake.  He does not represent "help."  Dallas Keutchel represented " help."  Stanton is going to cause the Yankees to lose Frazier, Maybin and several top prospects.

The line-up will change, the bench will change, the farm system inventory of quality players will change, and team speed and defense will be negatively altered.  This very week,  Stanton will commence racking up golden sombreros and banging into easy double plays.

Stanton has to play all the time or it will embarrass Hal and Brian.  It will show they got overly excited about  a flashy player who would attract fans, because he hits homeruns.  But he can't move and he does not put the baseball into play.  There is a new statistic for that, and his line simply
reads, " he sucks."

The " help" Stanton provides is the help an incurable virus provides when you go to the  hospital to have your appendix out.  You get worse and you never fully recover.

So disregard all the cheery headlines.  The " help" provided by Judge will be immediately offset by the disruption and failure brought by Stanton.

You wont see him jumping up, bumping hips, and smiling any more.  You'll see him with that dazed look, heading to the dugout after his fourth strike out of the day with runners in scoring position.

Dry rot comes to the summer cottage by the lake.


HoraceClarke66 said...

Alphonso, hip bumping has now been officially banned by the Yankees, lest it injure more of their glass giants.

So has elbow-bumping, high-fiving, low-fiving, jumping too hard on the plate, helmet tossing (great way to pull an oblique, right there), back-slapping, butt-slapping, or overly loud shouted congratulations. May shatter an eardrum or cause infectious spittle to land on another player.

TheWinWarblist said...

And no jumping for joy! Just ask Kendry about that one.

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