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Sunday, June 2, 2019

Welcome to Detroit

Did you know that we live in Detroit?  Or maybe Liverpool?

Or Spain, or Paris, or Argentina, or Brazil, or Boston, or Canada?

Apparently, it's true.

I opened my New York Times sports section today, looking forward to seeing all those BoSox fans across from the bus terminal pay their grudging respect to how the Yankees' indomitable Second Line beat their heroes again.

Instead, I found myself in the newspaper edition of the Wide World of Sports.

There were articles on almost everything BUT the one NYC team to perform with any consistent competence for the last 40 years—the team that outdraws all the others, the team whose Tiffany logo today sits blazoned across the cap of every other person you see on the street.

A big, front cover piece on how the NHL isn't doing nearly as good a job as the NFL in trying to prevent concussions.  An article on the French Open's Round of 32.  Half a page on how former Warriors still feel connected to their old team (I'm not making this up.)

On and on I turned the pages, thinking It was a night game, but it wasn't on the Coast! 

I did a little something on how the Times ran, what, about 300 more soccer articles as Yankees articles last year?

Today there is another half-page about a guy who blew the whistle on an Argentine soccer scandal, a big column and photo on Liverpool winning the Champions' League, something about Neymar being accused of rape, and another story on how a minor Spanish soccer star, long past his prime, died in a car accident.

There was also another column about how a former Houston Texans receiver was accused of sexual assault, but then cleared.

Yep, all the rape and all the concussion stories that are fit to print.  The Times didn't even run its usual, incredibly boring Sunday baseball wrap-up, just a column by Billywitz about fans getting hit by batted balls.

Probably the worst, though, was an entire page devoted to a Detroit writer, pushing his new book, about how "When Detroit Was on Top of the World: Boston is on the verge of another title, but in the 1930s the Motor City Ruled."

It seems that if the Bruins win the Stanley Cup, Boston will have the reigning champions in 3 sports for the first time any one city has, since Detroit in 1935-36.

(Actually, Detroit did NOT rule in the 1930s.  In that pre-NBA decade, the Motor City saw 6 World Series or league titles, and 4 championships.  The Yankees alone took 5 rings in the decade, and overall it was 16 finals and 9 championships for the local boys.)

But that would mean saying something nice about New York.  And as always, The NEW YORK Times has as usual nothing to do with NEW YORK—certainly not New York sports.  For all the soccer, there was no article about the two local soccer teams, who notched a win and (of course) a tie between them yesterday.

And baseball?  Baseball?  Fuhgeddaboutit!

Aside from the exciting Billywitz piece on fans getting hit—conclusion:  There should be more protective netting.  Genius!—the only thing on baseball was a wire service article on the Yankees win.

One smaller than the piece on the Bruins win.  Much smaller than the LPGA tournament down in Charleston.  ("Former Duke Teammates Tied For Lead at U.S. Women's Open."  Wow—who could resist a headline like that??  I mean, if you were a professional women's golfer who went to Duke.)

Incredible.  The New York Times has now decided to use a wire service to cover Yankees home games against the Boston Red Sox.

And not even a real wire service, such as the AP.  Instead, it was by something called "Field Level Media."  And an action photo from Shutterstock, of Gary Sanchez completing his back swing on that home run.

Hooray.

But I see an opportunity here.  Why don't we form our own wire service, and try to underbid "Field Level Media"?

We can call ourselves Sterling Wire to Wire, in honor of our idol, or maybe Duke Alphonso Sports Reporting.

The Times will probably think we're from Europe, and therefore worth paying attention to.











34 comments:

Publius said...

The New York Yankees is a quintessentially American, and intrinsically capitalist, enterprise. The ersatz Cordeliers who produce the NY Times do not approve. They cover all the news that's fit for twits.

JM said...

The Times is obviously angling for all the out of towners what moved here the past 18 years. The ones who didn't come for what New York was, but to reshape it in their rube-like image. You know, like Bloomberg and DiBlasio. Used to walk into any bar with a TV (I know, only one? Heavens.) and the Yanks would be on, maybe the Mets. Now it's soccer, preseason off-season well-seasoned football, women's softball, or the Cardinals or some team chosen to corner the market on immigrants from a particular region.

All of which are fine, but show how the city has changed, which is inevitable. I object to its changing into any other city in the country, or more accurately, any suburb.

But, Bloomberg made it clear. Tourists and out of town arrivals first, city heritage and long-time residents second. Or third. Or ninety-fifth.

The Times is maybe just reflecting the...uh...times. Kind of sad, but walk across 125th Street or up 6th Ave. from 23rd or visit Hudson Yards, the souless addition that could've been built anywhere and should have been.

New York is still New York in ever-decreasing pockets. So it goes.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I agree, JM.

But even stupider, the Times seems to be trying to cultivate that part of the "sports" market that considers sports just an intermittently interesting bit of filler in the newspaper. "Sports" being defined by them as anything at all that comprises movement: trekking across Antarctica, climbing a mountain, European soccer, etc.

I'm sure it's actually a disaster for them. Because there are no "fans" of that potpourri.

Even Euro soccer fans love...Euro soccer. There are no casual observers who rush to the sports page thinking, "Hmm, what in my limitless smorgasbord of interest will be featured today? Deep-sea diving? Rodeo? And where will it be set, since all the places in the world mean the same to me: Detroit, Paris, Mongolia?"

Let's face it: this is the sports page written for God.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Prediction: When the Sawks and Yankees meet in LONDON (as in England) -- that will be huge news.

TheWinWarblist said...

Put Soccer in the name of the agency. Golden!

Leinstery said...

I forgot CC was starting, no need to bother tonight.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

This is the night I need the radio to be in sync with the cable feed.

JM said...

CC not masterful tonight. 3-0 so far. Price looking unhittable.

But everything can change fast, and the only other thing I'd watch tonight is Billions, which is becoming increasingly repellant. DVR it and get around to it midweek when I'm bored enough. Maybe.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Voit is adroit.

JM said...

Baserunning follies by Torres. Jesus.

JM said...

That baserunning bullshit was a called play? Wow, that was stupid. Looks like there was no confidence in Frazier in that spot. Next Boone will send in Morales as a pinch runner.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Two strikes. Gets him up next inning with no strikes. That the reason, but I thought it was a stupid play too. I question whether it was actually intentional.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

And Mendoza said the RS didn't lose anyone in the off season. After she said CC should be charged with an error on a play where the ball wasn't anywhere near him. She is an idiot.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Oh and that was a nice DP!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Oh nooooooooo, Red Blunder!!!!

JM said...

Green is still not ready. That is him giving up 4 runs here, right? Shit relief.

JM said...

Sorry, that was 3.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

It was Cessa,,,,,

JM said...

Ok, thanks.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Lost opportunities in the 4th are looming large now.

The red menace was doing his Reggie impression in RF.

JM said...

I said the other day, keep Clint out of right, but nooooo.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Billy Martin would be replacing him right now in the middle of the inning.

JM said...

Cessa, even given Frazier's bumbling, stunk. Came into a 3-2 game, and they left him in until 8-2. That's unconscionable. I guess Bane was giving all those guys who pitched a whole inning two days in a row a rest.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Rains came too late. Might as well call it a night, now.

So, I reiterate. What the hell is the use of having ten relievers if you are not going to ride them? Especially when you have a chance to really jam the Red Sox down? If they had scored a bunch anyway, THEN you pitch Cessa.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hey, maybe this will convince them to sign Keuchel...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Goodnight, Irene.

HoraceClarke66 said...

What is our main advantage over the Red Sox?

Our bullpen.

So how is it that they outscore us in the battle of bullpens by 5-3, while all of our best guys sit and watch?

This now makes 2 games in a week potentially dumped by Boone because he didn't want to tax the 10-man pen. Silly.

13bit said...

I only read the box. Was too busy too watch the game. The box said that Cessa gave up 5 runs in one inning, but I know that must be a mistake. Can somebody tell me what really happened? I know it was not Boone or Rothschild who fucked up. Somebody must have fucked up and used the wrong binder or something.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand all the japes about the ESPN Sunday night crew. The Yankees have by far the worst TV and radio play-by-play announcers in the history of the sport, tasteless, vulgar, awash in doltish signature phrases and calls; Suzyn Waldman serves up "analysis" on the level of a WFAN retard caller or host; the only decent TV analyst is Cohn. The ESPN crew is superior in every regard--and Jessica Mendoza is smarter and more insighful than 98 percent of the jocks who occupy broadcast booths in most sports.


Anyone who would prefer to hear Sterling and Waldman over the ESPN crew is a troglodyte sexist and purblind tribalist without a trace of critical acumen or baseball knowledge.

Anonymous said...

Stat Gnat = boor, racist, homophobe, moron.

TheWinWarblist said...

A-Rod was terrible in the booth. Idiot-savant level babbling at best. Apparently steroids don't make one a better colour commentator.

Alibi Ike said...

Detroit is about to get a soccer team, so that's a twofer.

Anonymous said...

Is Cohn any relation to Cone? Or is puckered sample size also the size of his brain?

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