Thursday, June 20, 2019

On the eve of Dallas Keuchel's debut with Atlanta, Hal Steinbrenner talks about being a big-spender

Yesterday, Yankee owner Hal Steinbrenner emerged from his burrow, saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of austerity. Outside the owners meetings, presumably between martinis and lap dances, the beloved family trustee whom we call "Food Stamps" vowed to shoot his wad, money-wise, sometime around Aug. 1, even if it thrusts the Yankee budget above the de facto payroll cap, which his billionaire colleagues have illegally enforced for the last three years.

He said:

“If we feel we need another starting pitcher or even more help in the bullpen, we’re going to look at it. If I really felt we needed that deal that takes us over the top then, yes, I would, but we still have a decent amount of cushion.”

Translation: Fuck you, Yankee fans.

Okay, wait, fine, great. Hal says he plans to spend... maybe next month, yep, if the occasion warrants it, who knows? We'll see.

Well, Friday, Dallas Keuchel will start for the Braves. His first appearance of 2019 will come 24 hours after the Yankees employ their current fifth starter - The Entire Bullpen - against Keuchel's old team, the Astros.

Why rant? If a Yankee fan screams in the grandstand, does anybody hear? Instead of spending about $13 million on Keuchel, we have Edwin Encarnacion (for $3 million) and an impending salary dump trade, which will likely include Clint Frazier and the cast of Empire. Until then, our rotation will include a weekly stint by Chad Green (who hasn't appeared late in games, making him a two-inning starter), followed by Nestor (Octavio) Cortes Jr., a rookie. Some would call it "smoke and mirrors."  

But in the category of having-cake-and-eating-it, Steinbrenner also addressed the issue of Frazier. He said.

“I think he’s got a great career ahead of him. He’s got a lot of talent. He’s been working very hard on his defense and will continue to do so... He’ll be a big part of this team going forward. He certainly has the capability of doing that.”

This is sweet. It's also surgically worded bullshit. If Hal really wanted to keep Frazier in pinstripes, he would have ponied up for Keuchel instead of wallowing deeper into the DH hole for Encarnacion. Both moves effectively sealed Frazier's fate as a Yankee, and if Steinbrenner doesn't know this, he must be even dimmer than we thought.

Listen: It's hard to mope when we just swept the second place team in the AL East. But from now on, it's a two-team race, and I'm not referring to Tampa. The Redsocks are surging, and if they reach the wild card, it's hard not to see them as favorites, considering their rotation. I don't know what Hal has in mind. What should bother us all is that I don't think Hal does either. I hope he enjoys his martinis. 


JM said...

We didn't sweep them, we humiliated them. Pounded them. Psychologically hurt them. And we play them 8 more times in the next few weeks, four before the break and four after. We can seriously put their season to bed if we manage to maintain this kind of assault and good pitching. Big ifs.

Anonymous said...

My favorite moment was EE shortening his swing with two strikes and driving in a run with a single. Gotta love a professional hitter. Hopefully Stanton takes notice.

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

As usual, there is the ruinous assumption—or five—by the Yankees here, egged on by the nonsense the sportswriters spew.

"Oh, our farm system is stacked!" No, it's not anymore.

"Oh, we have plenty of outfielders! We've got Estevan Florial!" Who, after a much-injured, five-year pro career is now hitting .268 in Single-A Tampa.

"We have Aaron Hicks!" Now at .198, in all of 27 games this year.

"We have Giancarlo Stanton to play full-time in the outfield!" Oh, dear Lord.

"We have Gardy!" 35, and overdue for his annual breakdown.

This has happened before, I believe, a situation when we assured ourselves we had plenty of outfielders, traded some for very dubious pitching, and suddenly found ourselves with Shane Robinson out there.

But of course, that was a long time ago. What was it? 1983? 1971?

Oh, right: 2018.

Beana32 said...

I hope he enjoys his martinis.

I hope he chokes on an olive.

13bit said...

Everybody here knows how I feel about HAL, pitching, Casholo, and everything else, including yeast infections.

I am here now to ask a question of anybody who is going to join us for the already–legendary conclave that will be held on August 12, in the bowels of the Bronx.

I’m thinking of having some T-shirts made were cheap. I don’t know if I will, but is there anybody on this blog who possibly wears a small, medium, or XXL? Otherwise, I might arrive with a bag of L’s and XL’s. I might also arrive carrying a bag of troubles, but we shall see.

I’m really just trying to put a body type to a screen name and figure everything out.

Anonymous said...

There he goes again, passing gas.

TheWinWarblist said...

Oh no!! Hell no!!

13bit said...

I hear that Hal's street name in Tampa is "Giardiasis" and that he's notorious for stiffing the meth heads he deals to from the back of his Caddy.

TheWinWarblist said...

Infectious flatulent fucker! He besmirches the gloried name of Cadillac! Choke on an olive indeed!

13bit said...

Many fat, plutocratic asses have expelled foul farts into the rear seats of Cadillacs. This has been going on for a long time, Winnie.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

You could fit three bodies in there!

Isiyku Abdulahi said...

I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.