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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Final Starter at Yankee Stadium: Alfredo Aceves

Well, nobody predicted this.

Nope. Me sure didn't.

Me figured The Last Start would go to Andy, or Moose, or Chin-Ming, or maybe Hughes or Joba, who'd be challenging for the Cy Young, as we made one of those unforgettable September charges.

Alfredo Aceves.

Frankly, we should be happy. It could have been Carl Pavano or Sidney Ponson.

Alfredo Aceves.

Put this down in the book next to the notation that Pavano was 2007 opening day home starter. And that our lone LH reliever most of this season was Billy Traber. And that Robbie Cano, after dogging for a month, serves a 30-hour sentence and then is pronounced "ready to be great again."

Alfredo Aceves.

Nope. Me no get it.

They say America has a housing bubble. Baseball has a Yankee bubble. Both burst, and the aftermath is going to last a long time. We can sign free agents, and surely, we will buy bodies like a morticians school after the next hurricane. But it won't help. Beyond the adjustment phase of the new players coming to New York, our whole franchise will have to learn the nuances of a new park. What if it's a pitcher-killer like Coors Field, guaranteeing that Joba's ERA will never fall under 4.40? Or maybe a homerless expanse, like Detroit, so ARod next year will club 25? The new place won't be the same. I'll take us a season to adjust, to find the right hitters and move the fences in or out. And we don't have a wave of youth ready to step in.

We'll have Mariano, Jorge, Jeter, Arod, Damon, Moose, Andy, et al - great players, yes - all a year older, at the time of one's career when a year is a lifetime.

Here's a test: Name one emerging major league star on this team.

Joba? OK, we'll give you Joba. But he's no Dustin Pedroia and -- God, I hate to say this -- maybe not a Papelbon, either. After that?

Alfredo Aceves.

Wanna count the emerging stars on Tampa Bay and Boston? Or for that matter, Baltimore and Toronto?

Hank Steinbrenner keeps running around, promising big changes next year. He sounds like the Presidential candidates, blathering how they'll solve this financial meltown. What are we going to do, appoint a 9/11 Commission to study this? (Actually, that's sort of what Hank is saying, when he talks about putting together a committee to oversee Cashman.)

Alfredo Aceves.

The answer to a future trivia question.

Meanwhile, the huge questions facing this team?

No answers in sight. But, hey, new urinals.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Yankees don't need new urinals. They're too busy pissing all over their fans, the club's storied history, and their neighbors' kids who now have nowhere to play. New urinals would just reduce the available piss.

By the way, I was at last night's debacle, and if Jim Hall (an ersatz Bob Sheppard to usher in the ersatz Yankee Stadium) told me one more time that looting isn't a nice thing to do, I was going to prove him wrong by rushing the dugout, stealing Robby Cano, and proving that no one would miss him if I put him on eBay for my personal gain.

Anonymous said...

Going to be a great offseason.

Anonymous said...

Robbie Cano for personal gain? You realize you would take a substantial loss at this point...No one would buy and he would lazily sit around all day, taking up room in your hot tub and couch and everywhere else.

And Pettitte is starting the last game.