Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Highlights of Mets Celebration of Fox News Night at Citi Field

The New York Mets Saturday transformed Citi Field into a veritable Bush Gardens, as the team hosted Fox Fan Night. On hand were some of the stars of Fox News Channel, including Gretchen Carlson, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy.

Greta van Susteren gave a facelift to the usual dull proceedings by throwing out the first ball.

Other highlights of the evening:

1. Only righty pitchers allowed.

3. During 7th inning stretch, Glen Beck doused mock Planned Parenthood clinic with gasoline.

3. Commentators overruled umps' calls.

4. First 4,000 fans received courtesy teabags.

5. Mets' loss to Tampa blamed on Barack Obama.

6. Overhead predator drones harassed opposing outfielders.

7. Mets ball girls wore no jerseys.

8. All Latino players benched.

9. Sarah Palin and family attended; during a break in the action, Palin’s daughter was knocked-up by Arod. (Whoops! How'd that get in there? Sorrrrry.)

CORRECTION NO 9: Scoreboard listed visiting team as "Socialists."

10. Crowd chanted, "We want a terror strike!"


Alibi Ike said...

11. Citi Field and the borough of Queens are named after Ronald Reagan.

John McCain said...

This is brilliant Duque.

If I only had a brain......