Monday, June 29, 2009

We are undefeated since the celebrities started dying

Four celebrities dead. Four wins.

Let's face it: We all feel like Seymour in "Little Shop of Horrors." To keep winning, we may have to keep feeding our beloved stars of stage and screen to the giant Pinstripe Fly Trap in the basement.

DISCLAIMER: We do not advocate that Yank fans go out and kill celebrities!

But hey, you don't change underwear during a winning streak. If somebody happened to be driving, and they saw a middlng celeb -- say, a former member of a boy band or something -- standing in a crosswalk, well, think of Billy Martin.

He loved the hit-and-run.

SIDE NOTE: Should we start rating Cable TV Celebrity Death Warbles?

Ed McMahon received (estimation) about 20 minutes, memories and obit.

Farrah got a couple hours of memories, obit and thoughtful analysis by cultural experts and those who loved her.

Jacko consumed three days, 24-7, Jerry Lewis Telethon-style coverage, with the sure-to-come conspiracy theories, tearful TV memory concert and hit song. We're talking weeks, months, years.

Billy Mays generated more than Ed, because cable was warmed up and hungry. Also, people at first probably thought it was Willie Mays. Were it Willie... he'd hit Farrah Territory.

Now... four wins, four deaths... who must die?


BernBabyBern said...

They say these things happen in threes, so I think we're due two more.

First, we have the 1980s icons of plastic surgery and freaky hair. Who's next from that group?

Then we've got the great pitchmen, Ed and Billy. Who will be the next of the shameless junk peddlers to go? I don't know, but I'd be nervous if I was:

1. Vince the ShamWow guy
2. Ron Popeil
3. Carl Pavano's agent
4. Scott Boras

Unknown said...

What would happen if Madonna died? How would A-Rod react? And do we include David Carradine in this or was that to long ago?

el duque said...

Carradine died June 4.

That night, we beat the Rangers.

Gringo Starr said...

I'd like to nominate Pat Robertson. Thank you and God bless. said...

Wow, what a bad week for the loss of celebrities. RIP Billy, I will miss hearing your voice in the middle of the night. There will be no replacement for you!!! God Bless! found more info at