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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Let's Take A Look At John & Suzyn's Talking Points Of The Day, Sponsored By Lowe's.

Lowe's 2

BREAKING: John got trapped in an elevator for eight minutes and had to climb out. Suzyn had to climb stairs (!) from the basement to the broadcast booth, which is on the roof! So Atlanta's Hillbilly Stadium and its bullshit cracker "infrystructure" have J&S all flustered, breathless and freaked out, and their talking points are all mushed in together. But they sound something like:

- The Yankees have got to start winning some baseball games.
- They cannot keep losing series. Not if they want to stay in the pennant race.
- IF WANG SCREWS UP TONIGHT, THE YANKEES HAVE GOT TO CUT HIM LOOSE because John & Suzyn are THIS CLOSE TO FED UP.
- Something about the Yankees not being able to hit, ever. And would it kill A-Rod to get a hit?
Lowe's. Let's Build Something.... Togethaaah!

UPDATE, BOTTOM 5: John & Suzyn now assert that tonight is not Wang's fault, because look at the team he has to play on.

4 comments:

Alibi Ike said...

Far Out Blingee! My sideburns grew 3 inches just watching it.

Tree said...

do any of you listen through Gameday Audio? are they using a higher quality feed? Sterling sounds vaguely like Howard Stern..

Mustang said...

I listen on a cheap portable radio, the way God intended. But I think duque listens on Gameday.

If this team doesn't get better soon, it will be impossible to distinguish John from Howard Stern. When he's not begging Suzyn to take her shirt off, he'll he'll be hazing the Yankees for their ethnicities.

MattG said...

I'm listening online as well, and the dulcet tones of Sterling are clearer than evah! (Unfortunately, it does nothing to help Suzy.) Jeep must've chipped in some extra money this week.