Thursday, April 29, 2021

The Judge Situation

Reading El Duque this AM got me to thinking about what I am now calling, “The Judge Situation”. (Good title for a dramedy BTW.)

I think we’re looking at the wrong thing. It doesn’t matter to me what his injuries are or what their extent is. The real question is WHY? Why is this guy always hurt?  

In the past I blamed it on his girlfriend’s aggressive love making style but I think she’s in jail now so that can’t be it.   

Here are some possible explanations…

1) Aaron Judge Is Actually Over 60 Years Old

DickAllen asked, "Minor multiple things. WTF does that mean?”

I think he knows. I think we all know. Today it's my knees. Yesterday I was getting something off the top shelf and extended too far. A couple of days ago I slept poorly. Heartburn. Eczema. Seborrhea. Psoriasis. Did I mention my knees? Also, I think a LEGO I stepped on several years ago created some kind of heel damage… 

In other words, multiple minor things.  

2) The Cycle of Doom

Judge never fully recovered from his appearance at the first Home Run Derby. Too many hard swings. So he builds up, does his yoga, light weights, whatever. Then his mind says, “swing hard” and his body says, “OK… but you’re going to pay.” 

On the field it looks like this...

Phase One:  Lots of OK swings. Maybe a single or even a double.

Phase Two: Encouraged, he swings a little harder making better contact ending for the most part in deep fly outs.

Phase Three: He takes his “real” swing. Home Run.  

Phase Four: Injured.

Or it's entirely possible... 

3) She’s Out On Bail




DickAllen said...

I have stopped caring about Judge in the same way I have had my man crush on Sanchez rewarded with nothing but pain and heartache. I want him to be the love of my life but he just keeps disappearing. I just know I’m going to read in tomorrow’s Murdoch that he now wants to be called Andrea and that will be the end of the affair.

I keep falling for the wrong girl.

But I keep “ Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms...”

My apologies to Dusty Springfield. I’m just a confused old man.

Kevin said...

@Doug and DickAllen: Fckng HILARIOUS!

You know, I keep thinking about Rocco Baldelli. What if he has some bizarre "syndrome" that the team is trying to hide? Please NOOOO!

Leinstery said...

Should have traded his ass when it was clear this was going to continue to happen, but when he still had value. You know, two years ago.

Carl J. Weitz said...

What a fucking dolt Boone is! One out, man on third in the bottom of the tenth. Batting is Mullins the most productive O's batter and a left-handed hitter against Loaisaga. Every other manager walks Mullins to pitch around him and set up the DP. But not Boone. Mullins hits a sacrifice fly to win it. What's worse is that the ball is hit to medium center and washed up Hicks threw a floater way wide of the plate and way late. Hicks needs to be benched for good and Boone fired after this season if not sooner. Tired of seeing the Yankees lose games because of poor managing and players like Hicks.

Anonymous said...

Boone's managing gets worse and worse as the game goes along, until by the 9th or 10th innings, he's doing things that you have to wonder if he has a brain inside of his head or not.

The Hammer of God

JM said...

Hal is a lousy owner, Cash is a lousy GM, Boone is a lousy manager, Hicks is all-around lousy, Wade got a lousy deal on Twitter, Sanchez has been so lousy for so long, when he's just pretty lousy it seems like he's All Star material, Judge has lousy anatomy, Mike King isn't lousy but the hierarchy thinks we need lousy Nick Nelson on the roster instead, the team has a lot of lousy .200 or worse hitters and even DJ is having a lousy year so far.

That's a lot of lousy.

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