Yanks Need extra $400 M for new stadium, probably $800 M to win pennant

It comes down to icing on the cake:

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Will the new Yankee Stadium offer porcelain urinals or chrome troughs?

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Molded seats or slabs of nail-infested barnwood?

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C.C. Sabathia or Jeff Karstens?

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Time to shell out, everybody.

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We're getting a glimpse of cheap:

Win, lose, win, lose, win, lose and leave half the population of Westchester County on third base with less than two outs.

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It's time to act:

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Call Congress and urge it to give our heros whatever they want -- lawyers, guns, money, access to growth hormones, whatever -- because we are a franchise being run by drunken Albanians, and when the world is crashing around you, remember the first rule of modern war:

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BRING CASH BY THE GARBAGE BAG.

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With $400 million of public financing -- which is what the Yanks want -- there's room in one of those luxury suites for Ray Halladay, a bullpen and the entire Tampa Bay Ray outfield.

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We should hold a telethon for this money-strapped team. We should bring canned food. Can Mariah Carey put on a concert?

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YOU CAN'T WIN IF YOU'RE TOO CHEAP TO SPEND WHAT IT TAKES.

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IN THIS CASE, A BILLION DOLLARS JUST MIGHT DO IT.