But goodbye Brandon Drury and Billy McKinney.
Toronto may have gotten two players who will haunt us for years. But who would not make that deal?
Now, it's up to Happ, the Redsock killer.
Thursday, July 26, 2018
Happless no more
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CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK! CASHMAN, YOU SUCK!
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So excellent! We can now COUNT ON:
1. Winning the world series this year
2. Cash going to Cooperstown eventually
3. Sonny G definitely going to turn it around and pull a Sandy Koufax the next two months
4. Judge will be okay after this egregious attack
5. I will not DEFINITELY meet that Japanese stewardess who will sit on my face, blocking out the light and filling my heart with joy
6. The economy will soar
7. Climate change will reverse
8. Someone is going to give me a lot of money real soon.
9. My book will become a bestseller after I self-publish it
10. That stewardess will be free of all social diseases.
Thank god for Cashman! He alone can fix all this stuff! He is our savior! Question not his wisdom and judgement!
Long live Coops!
13bit:
While #10 is thought provoking, let's discuss #5 in more detail...
#5 and #10 seem to be mutually exclusive.
And hopefully, this is not not the lady you are referring to:
http://saudigazette.com.sa/article/539789/Life/Life-Style/At-85-Yoko-Ono-plans-new-album-for-peace
I am now offering mind bleach for the low low price of $100,000 per mind. Payable in advance.
...and Conie just said he has a couple of burner accounts out there.
Coincidence? I think not.
Meant to say “now” instead of “not.” Freudian slip or haphazard typing? You decide. I think we’re more likely to win the series than for me to meet that girl.
The black swan is positively carnivorous tonight. Did he take out Judge, Gray, and German in one evening?
THE BLACK SWAN IS OUT OF CONTROL.
IF JUDGEY IS OUT FOR A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME, WE STILL HAVE RED TH.....
....OH WAIT....
HE'S OUT TOO.
HOLY SHIT.
Not to worry, ALL-CAPS! We still have Billy McKinney, after all!
Oh, wait...
Judge out at least 3 weeks, so think 5. Clint on the DL, McKinney gone...
Somewhere in a Tampa, a man sits in his dimly lit tepee awaiting the call from Coops.
Also, I noticed that after this fool, Jakob Junis, put one of our stars out for weeks to come, Sonny Gray, roused to his usual fury, hit several Royals in retaliation before his catcher, sobbing, grabbed him by the shoulders and begged him to stop.
No, wait: that only happened in my dreams.
It's now time to wake Mr. Ellsbury from his 163 day slumber/vacation AKA thr DLe, tell him to put the Ice packs and mimosas away and get his 21 million dollar a** back to work!!!!!
Can't help but think this is the curse of McBroom.
But now is not the time to panic, people! Did we panic when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
There are two Tylers in Scranton that could play OF in a pinch. The Yankees are 3 out in the loss column, not 13. They have a killer, say goodnight Gracie, bullpen.
No Judge. No Sanchez (missing even when he's here). No Monty. No Red. No McKinney. The Real Sevvy in doubt.
Thank God we still have Neil Walker.
Like you, I scan some websites for info on the Yankees. I have recently read:
1 - Gardner might be worth re-signing for next year (headline: "Yankees would be making a mistake" to not bring him back).
2 - Hicks is the greatest thing since Bazooka bubble gum ("proving doubters foolish").
3 - the MLB.com report on last night's game touts "Gray's scoreless start." A huge 5 innings. Yougottabekiddingme!
I would like to see Gardy rally in the 2nd half. I'm pretty sure that's not a reason to re-sign him for next year, but I have always rooted for the guy.
The numbers show Hicks hitting .230 in July -- and .176 (small sample size) since the All-Star break. I am trying to root for him. I like him as CF, but I admit his exploits around the plate generally leave me cold.
Gray's 5 innings can't possibly thrill anyone. Yeah, the NYYs have a bullpen. But if it's going to get 4 innings on most nights (Happy, CC, Sonny, and now even Sevy are not gonna see much of the 6th inning, most nights)......ugh! Gray always does well against crappy teams. Besides the horrible KC W-L record overall, the team is 18-and-61 against RHP (only 13-20 against LHP).
I present this info to say: Beyond the fans, there are a lot of so-called "sportswriters" who are living in Fantasyland.
I just died a little reading this comment.
Well done sir. Well done
Look up Mercury Retrograde...it explains everything...on top of the Lunar Eclipse this afternoon...everything is stressed right now...which is why Judge's wrist broke while HBP.
Okay, everybody close your eyes while I hit the "Start Your Day Over" switch....
Sevy, The Professor, then C.C. (5 innings followed by the bullpen specialists) with a start or two from Happ. Use Sonny for multi-inning mop up duty.
Hello Championship Rotation!!
I am feeling it, my dudes. I don't know why. I don't know how. It makes no sense but there it is. So, let me be first:
New York Yankees, your 2018 World Series Champions!
This blows.
These comments are so good they almost make the pain go away.
Joe FOB: Regardy Gardy—won't happen. The second half is ALWAYS when he melts down, which is I've never understood why, for all his virtues, the Yankees don't consider him a number 4 or 5 outfielder, and use him with corresponding restraint.
Hicks is Hicks, and, I fear, will always bounce back and forth, giving us tantalizing glimpses of a potential talent that will never be realized over any sustained length of time.
Gray: I KNOW! Right? He pitches in and out of disaster against this awful team—bases loaded in the third, men on second and third in the fifth—and is ultimately pulled after all of five innings and 75 pitches, and we're told how well he did.
I guess the good thing is, he actually managed to perform at home, and now everyone will say how he's coming around, so all that might help. But yeah, what an essentially mediocre performance. And, of course, no idea of putting anyone on their back in retaliation for the Judge beaning...
We're going to win it all. The world is going to be safe again. Prosperity will reign and I will FINALLY get laid again. What's not to like?
THANK YOU, BRIAN, YOU ARE THE GREATEST GM EVER! YOU ARE NOT NOW, AND NEVER HAVE BEEN, A SCUM-SUCKING PILE OF DONKEY SHIT. NO WAY, JOSE! WE LOVE YOU!!!!
Can someone help me look for my meds?
Oh shit, I'm not on meds. This is reality.
Gotta run.
I was a little upset this morning, but I'm better now. And tonight I am having a rather large cocktail.
Drinking a friend's gift. No. 3 Gin. A little smoother than the usual bombay sapphire, but less tasty.
Check back later for the hangover quotient.
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