Have You Ever Wondered...

All right, in a final, desperate stab at entertainment, now that we've gone yet another day without real baseball, I offer these Jerry Seinfeld/Andy Rooney-style questions about the commercials one is subjected to most often during sports events.

To wit (or not to wit, that is the question!):

—What's with the theme in car ads of comely young women walking out of their office jobs so they can go drive somewhere in a perfectly ordinary looking SUV?

In one of them, the young woman in question is fatally disillusioned because she hears an older male executive talk about golf.  Oh, honey.  That's the least of it.

But nonetheless, next thing we see she's shoved all her possessions into a box and is grinning as she marches off to find what she has scribbled down as her "perfect job."  Her fellow employees are all applauding as she walks, perhaps because they will no longer have to deal with her constant whining about how it is she does not already have her dream job at 23, or snapping "Oh that's so bougie!" at them in the lunchroom, anytime they mention something so mundane as golfing, or shopping for lawn furniture.

What's happening here?  Has she suffered some sort of traumatic head injury that makes her believe her lumpish, oversized car is a magic career machine that will take her automatically where she wants to go—vocationally?  Wow, that's some GPS!

On another one of these, a woman—even prettier and more stylishly dressed—leaves her cubicle and actually climbs up a metal fire escape ladder, pushes aside a manhole cover there, and finds an SUV waiting for her on a deserted road, in a gleaming white, desert landscape.

I mean, WTF?  Where is she working?  NORAD?  Area 51?  What kind of cubicle job does she have,   fifty feet under a desert, with an escape hatch only accessible by a metal ladder?  And why is she wearing heels?

How does she leave work most days?  Is there bus service out there?  Or is she supposed to be the first young woman, years later, after her magic SUV has taken her to a job hacking the Democratic National Committee?  Where is she off to now, a secret rendez-vous with Julian Assange?

What's going on here???