Tuesday, January 15, 2008

2007 Yankee Golden Lobe Awards

Given to last year's mentalists in Pinstripes...

Best Career Ending Psycho Meltdown: Colter Bean, May 4: No outs, 2 walks, 2 hits, 4 earned runs. Took over for Kei Igawa, who gave up eight runs. Adios, Mr. Bean.
Best Ridiculous Excuse and Implied Suggestion of Future Success: Kyle Farnsworth, April 14: “I think I'm rushing myself a little too much. It's still early in the season, but it's something that I've got to get done right now. I don't want it carrying over." Congrats, Kyle. Slow down.

Most Agonizing Meaningless Decision: Joe Torre, June 9, on choosing to keep Sean Henn and send Chris Britton to Scranton. “It was a tough decision…We just felt Sean Henn seems to be improving." Like the choice between rickets and scurvy.
Most Over-optimistic Prediction: Johnny Damon, April 6, on his strained calf: “It's feeling pretty good today…I'm definitely going to make myself available to the skipper if he needs me for anything… There was massive improvement last night. I'm close to being ready.” He was ready in September.

Most Complete Advance Summary of the Mitchell Report: Jason Giambi, May 15, dictated to a Chicago newspaper: “What we should have done a long time ago was stand up -- players, ownership, everybody -- and said: 'We made a mistake.’. We should have apologized back then and made sure we had a rule in place and gone forward. ... Steroids and all of that was a part of history. But it was a topic that everybody wanted to avoid. Nobody wanted to talk about it." If Giambi had recited names, this could have been the Mitchell Report. Because he didn't, it's better.

Most Prophetic Winter of 2007 that Nobody Noticed: Edwar Ramirez, somewhere in the Caribbean. He struck out 34 batters in 24 innings for the Tigres del Licey, but got blasted for 4.88 ERA. Hot or cold, that was Edwar. The change-up giveth, and the change-up taketh away. Adios.


Anonymous said...


We need a good luck icon ( jynx icon if you are Dallas ) for the Yankees, just like the Post provided in the Jessica Simpson look-a-like gal ( wearing the Cowboy's jersey with a pink #9 ) at the Dallas/Giants game.

We "feted " the look-a-like yesterday in NYC. What a riot. This ploy was one of the best humiliations of the day for Dallas.

We should have one for every team we play, beginning with Boston.


Anonymous said...

Dear Sirs;

Thanks you for the international news flash on Edwar, from somewhere in the Caribbean.

When I saw him earlier, in Southern Mexico, working out with Clay Bellinger, he still had only the one pitch.

Clay sruck out the first 16 times he faced him. Suddenly, Clay morphed into Big Pappi and hammered the young, aspiring relief pitcher.

The next morning, Edwar was on a bus to a boat to the Caribbean.

He will never succeed with one strange pitch, that everyone knows is coming.

I would trade him for Johan.

If that deal doesn't fly, we can try him at first base, along with Jason Lane.