Monday, January 14, 2008

Boston in Uproar: Jacoby Ellsbury Snubbed by Golden Globes

DATELINE: Hollywood!

In a stunning decision, the Foreign Press Association Sunday night ignored the universally lauded future Redsock superstar Jacoby Ellsbury by failing to honor him the Golden Globe for Hottest Wow Beefcake that Association Members Seek to Meet in their Next Free Buffet Line.

Immediately, representatives of the Redsock Nation voiced outrage, noting that the 24-year-old Ellsbury tore apart the International League last year with two home runs and a .298 batting average, and has already eclipsed the stardom of veteran centerfield lugnut Coco Crisp.

Sadly, Ellsbury was also recently overlooked for the MLB Hall of Fame, the Presidential Medal of Honor and the Hooters/Harley Miss Beach'n Bike Malibu pageant.

The Golden Globe for Hottest Wow Beefcake went to Gavin McLeod for his role as Captain Merrill Stubing on the celebrated TV show “Love Boat.”

A spokesman said the Foreign Press Association is “getting counseling” for its interest in Capt. Stubing.

No comments: