Saturday, May 24, 2008

Girardi Charged with DWY: Disagreeing While a Yankee

Five times now.

Once every two weeks, the MLB Clown Court beats down a Yank to set an example for the rest of the prison population.

Here's what happens: The other team's pitcher throws at us, usually hitting Jeet or A-Rod. We retaliate, throwing near them.

Then -- boom -- down from the clouds comes Kangaroo Bob Watson, the Alberto Gonzales of MLB, a former Yankee G.M., to suspend our man.

Yesterday, the Wat suspended Joe Girardi for arguing a call. Used to be, a manager could argue, as long as he didn't bump or push the ump. Girardi did neither. No matter.

Watson busted him for DWY: Disagreeing While a Yankee.

It's the Watson Doctrine: Because of their high-profile, Yanks must be cracked down on. It sends a message to the league.

Girardi's our fifth. There was Kyle Farnsworth (who didn't hit a batter), LaTroy Hawkins (who didn't hit a batter), Melky Cabrera (who defended a teammate during a fight) and Shelley Duncan (who, yeah, came in high at 2B, but he did it a day after a Ray needlessly leveled -- and seriously injured -- our catcher in a home plate cheap bomb. )

A question for the justice seekers at MLB:

Is it a generally wise to have an ex-wife rule on her former husband when he appears before the court?

Because Watson used to be a Yankee. And like a lot of former Yankee employees, he might not remember the organizaton favorably.

So what happened? What did we do to the guy?

Did some fat security guard sweat on him while escorting him out of the building? Bad clams at the annual bake? Did George stiff him out of vacation pay?

Yeesh. Come on, it's elementary, our dear Watson!

Get over it! Bury the hatchet. The marriage failed. Maybe somebody cheated. Maybe somebody didn't flush. But it's over.

Yeah, she booted your sorry ass out of the house. But you can't sit around, plotting revenge, just because she's still in the game. It's over, dude. Deal with it.
Be square. Recuse yourself. Or retire.

No comments: