Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Vegas on High Alert

Dateline;  Las Vegas, Nevada.  May 28th.  4:05 am:

WVEG ( radio ) ; So, Alphonso, what brings you to Vegas?

ALPHONSO :  I'm here to arrange payment options on my 11,000 - 1 bet ( placed during Spring Training, I might add ) that neither Phil nor Ian would have a win for the Yankees by the All Star break.

WVEG :  But it is only May.  Who is going to talk money with you at this point?

ALPHONSO :  Did you watch Ian Kennedy last night?  He gave up two 4 run leads faster than crows fly off roadkill when a semi is bearing down on them.

WVEG :  But he is one of the top Yankee pitching prospects, and baseball is a marathon, not a sprint.

ALPHONSO :  Rubbish.  This guy is a first inning specialist, and that's it.  And so far, no one in baseball has figured out how to use that kind of specialization effectively.

WVEG :  Aren't you worried that Phil Hughes will be back on track soon?

ALPHONSO :  I'm thinking of putting down another bet that Carl Pavano has a Yankee win before either of these two clowns.

WVEG:  Are you feeling more confident because Ian is now headed for the DL?

ALPHONSO :  You mean his " lat" injury?  More rubbish.  The Yankee management needs an excuse to sit this guy  down.  I've already offered to take him down with me to the South Mexico dirt field league, as I did with Edwar.  And look how he is doing now?

WVEG:  What did the Yankee brass say?

ALPHONSO:  Get lost.

WVEG:  How do you like the Yankee's decision to convert Joba to a starter in mid-season?

ALPHONSO:  He'll be with me in Mexico by August.

WVEG:  What are you going to do with all your money?

ALPHONSO:  We are thinking of adding a "Tommy John " surgical clinic to Rose's Cantina in my favorite Mexico town, so Yankee prospect pitchers can drink and re-hab in the sun.

Also, the peso is worth a lot more than the dollar.  Or fresh cactus.


Anonymous said...

Dear Jesus (and I don't mean Savior Montero),

This entry and the one before it re: Phil Hughes' blog are two reasons why this is the funniest Yankees blog on the net.

Congrats on viewer 100,000, I wish it could have been me.

Good luck, god speed and keep up the good work,


michael kei said...

Crows flying off of roadkill as a semi bears down on them? Interesting analogy... Did you see that first hand with Edwar while sitting up against a palm tree?

Alphonso said...


There are no roads in south Mexico where a semi can roll.

I saw it on 81 near Cortland.