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Monday, October 13, 2008

John McCain: Yankee Beat Writer


Some believe the seventy-something maverick is running for the White House, but his coded speeches have clearly focused on the state of the Yankees.

Consider these excerpts from Friday's speech.

ON HAVING BASEBALL’S HIGHEST PAYROLL, BUT FAILING TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS: “We are going put an end to the reckless conduct, corruption, and unbridled greed that have caused a crisis.”

ON CARL PAVANO: “While employees, shareholders, and other victims are left with nothing but trouble and debt, the people who helped cause the collapse make off with tens of millions in severance packages.”

ON MANAGER JOE GIRARDI’S PITCHING ROTATION: “They dreamed up…schemes that they themselves don't even understand.”

ON GIRARDI’S UNWILLINGNESS TO COME CLEAN ABOUT INJURIES TO HIS PLAYERS: “So much of the loss and damage… could have been avoided if these practices had been exposed to the light of day.”

ON AROD AND GIAMBI’S FAILURE TO HIT IN THE CLUTCH: “For all their big and impressive sounding names, the fact is they haven't been doing their job right, or else we wouldn't have these massive problems.”

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didn't know maverick meant prevaricating hack.

Anonymous said...

I'm a hokey mom!