Saturday, October 11, 2008

Open Letter to Humankind: The Redsocks are gonna win, and we're all gonna die

Dear Madam or Sir,

Hey, it was a great ride -- 5,000 good years since the dinosaurs, according to our future vice president -- and in that time we invented teevee, Viagra and even pretzel niblets with cheese in the center.

I always figured that if we could invent pretzel niblets with cheese in the center, we could do anything.

Well, I was wrong. It's over. Our economic system is collapsing, our society is fracturing, our planet is boiling up, and the Redsocks are going to win again.

Life, as we know it, is coming to an end.

Forget money. Don't bother with physical property. In a few days, they won't matter. Future generations -- or maybe spacemen -- will know we were here by the legacy we left behind: the Internet, domed stadiums and our vast T-shirt collections.

It's over.

You want currency? Barter with those pretzels niblets with cheese in the center.

The age of the Redsock is beginning.

How did we let this happen?

And why are the ones who let it happen not being held accountable?

Good luck in the next life.


Anonymous said...

This is guaranteed.

Bet all that remains of your assets on the Red Sox running the table.

America, Iceland and the 2008 World Series.

Each is bankrupt.

Anonymous said...

Rays win!
Rays Win!
Rays win!
Meanwhile Papelbum is still the biggest moron in baseball(Or should I say "in the world"?).