Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Case for Signing Manny

Remember: No negatives in this, just science.

1. Piss off Redsock fans.

2. He has at least two solid years left.

3. He hits in the clutch. (Don't underestimate this. Right now, we have a team that does not.)

4. Home town factor. Hard to rate this. He might thrive. Gamble worth taking?

5. He hates the Redsocks. Give him credit for that.

6. We'd have to jettison Abreu and Giambi (no problem; see No. 3) and trade Nady, Matsui or Damon... Or convert Damon to first... if cannot get Teixeira. These are dicey moves. It's impossible to say whether they pan out. Depends on the trade. But... if we cannot sign Teixiera, let's not forget why we failed last year: No hitting.

7. Imagine the order: Damon. Jeter. Arod. Manny...

8. If he beats up our team offficials, maybe it'll knock some sense into them.

9. A lot of tabloid back pages taken away from Arod. The Yankees love back pages, except when they involve Arod.

10. Fans would be reluctant, angry, at first. But if he won them over with clutch hitting, they could absolutely love him.

11. Enter the Hall with a Yankee cap?

12. Piss off Curt Schilling.

13. Enrage Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. (Oops. Sorry. Already covered that in No. 1.)


adam said...

2) But we'd have to give him four years.
3) Stop kidding yourself, this isn't a real thing.
6) If he comes here, he'd be a fifth outfielder and a DH if the right managerial positions are made. We don't need to shop anybody around: get rid of Giambi, put Posada at first base, let Molina or whoever catch, then Abreu, Melky/Damon, Nady in the outfield. Brilliance.
10) lol
11) ??? Doubtful, but who cares?

adam said...

I forgot to add, I think we should bring him here 100%, but it is not really for the reasons you listed.

Anonymous said...

2 with an option, 3 at worst and I am on board.

adam said...

Remember, his agent is Scott Boras. Not a chance he's signed to a deal less than 3+option.

Anonymous said...

You know, all along I've been against this. I thought he's too old, he's a prick, but...wait a second: He's Manny Ramirez.

After reading the reasons you list, I say hell yeah, offer Manny 2 years at $60 million, with an at-bat clause that options him for a third year at $30M again, giving him a total of three years, $90M and so many at bats to stick it to the Red Sox.

Plus, he plays where he's from, NYC.

I say do it. He replaces Abreu and Giambi in the lineup and salary wise.

Fuck it, I'm in like Flynn.

NEW to-do list for 09:

1. CC
2. Tex
3. Manny
4 Trade Matsui to SEA/SF for a bucket of sushi.
5. Sign Moose, at all cost.
6. sign/trade back end starter
(Gil Meche, Brad Penny, Kerry Wood)

Anonymous said...

Since no one has yet addressed point number 9, I shall undertake to do so.

A-Rod and Miss Madonna left yesterday by separate helicopter for a brief "interlude" at the Seinfeld's mansion in East Hampton.

When they left, a new set of " relationship rules" was written in lipstick, on Jerry's parlor wall.

This reporter is attempting to get a copy of said rules, so it can be compared with those Mr. Guy had to live by.

In both cases, exploratory Kaballa sex rituals were to be extended beyond current idiologies.

Hope A-Rod performs better in her clutches than he does for the Yankees.