Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Only $150,000 for clothes? Palin can't win if she's wearing Melky Cabrera

The leftist, liberal, godless, pro-terror Chicken Little media reports that the Republican National Committee thus far has spent $150,00 to put clothes and lipstick on Sarah Palin and her rapidly procreating family.

This is suicide.

Hell, it's what the Yankees did last year.

The Repubs are paying bargain basement Melky Cabrera rates for what should be Derek Jeter showcase fashions and accessories. As the late Mr. Blackwell would have said, there's a reason money is green and shit is brown: Taste!

This year, we proved you can't win with a Wal-Mart centerfielder, especially one who bats .220 and sends mental text messages while in the field.

The Hank Steinbrenners of the GOP -- (yowzer, there's an image!) -- ought to realize that if they're going to win this horserace, they've gotta part with some honest sheckles to silk up their prized stallions.

We're talking Tori Hunter evening gowns.

We're talking Johnny Damon pants suits.

Hell, we're talking big money, free agent, ARod-on-Madonna leatherwear, maybe with an occasional Dolly Parton wig and -- 0h, I don't know -- I'm thinking Joel Grey now in "Cabaret," -- the kind of boob holsters that lift, not separate.

The GOP is not going to win this election with Sarah Palin wearing Melky.

They should take a chapter from Cindy McCain, who spends more on crab dip than the Yanks did on Melky. If Cindy McCain wanted to wear Mark Teixeira, you better believe she would sign Mark Teixeira.

Are you listening, you GOP Hank Steinbrenners? (Yeesh, I may never get that image out of my head.)


Anonymous said...

In their defense the party was told these cloths would mature well and would be in style this season and beyond. Drastically increasing their value as time went on. Who would have known this would have happened?

Anonymous said...

What did they buy her from Victoria Secret?

Does she get to keep this stuff?

Why do they feel her Moose carving outfits wouldn't fit the image they want in a VP?

Does she have to pay taxes on the $150,000?