Friday, May 28, 2010

10 things MLB lawyers do when not harassing Yankee blogs

1. Cruise municipal landfills for diseased rats to mate with.

2. Wash ashore with dead flamingos on oil-slicked Louisiana beaches.

3. Watch The Larry King Show.

4. Swap photographs on personal colonoscopy blogs.

5. Play Creed videos on iPads.

6. Steal wheelchairs from adorable disabled children.

7. Give intensely erotic foot massages to Bud Selig. 

8. Furnish Tim McCarver with fresh human blood.

9. Slither.

10. Chase ambulances, because incapacitated victims might be wearing unlicensed MLB merchandise.


David Ballela said...

a curse on bud selig

Anonymous said...

5. Play Creed videos on iPads.

Maybe if Yankee stadium lifted the ban on iPads MLB would ease up a little bit.

Joe De Pastry said...

Sue cops who don't enforce that Arizona immigration statute zealously enough.

Murphinator said...

It all started in Arizona (figures) with someone trying to get express written consent from MLB.

Soon, an A-Rod walk-off will need to be described as "Cameron Diaz's boyfriend swatted a spherical object with an elongated stick over a wall enabling the team with vertical stripes on their uniform to touch the point triggering object more than their opponent at the end of regulation." Let's see the "Fake John Sterling" make that call!

Frank Chu said...

I support your protest.