Saturday, May 29, 2010

Open Letter to Maury Povich: Let me confront my MLB abusers on your show


I have been abused by strangers, and I want justice on your show.

The slimey, pennypinching copyright lawyers -- aw, hell, they're bastards, why call them anything else? -- the suited oily MLB bastards forced those free-speech jelly donuts at YouTube to censor my life's only valuable achievement, (beyond my invention of "the Talking Foreskin.): the WinWarble measurement index.


Moreso, it has deleted discussions of John's favorite books, explanations about the impossibility of predicting baseball games and and the mash-ups, yes, Maury, the mash-ups -- even my Bruce Springsteen/John Sterling duet, which consisted of the final strains of "Born to Run" interspersed with John Sterling yelling "thuuuuuuh."

There must five seconds overall of Sterling's yell of Thuuuh.

Copyright infringement. YouTube apparently received a legal-BS letter on an MLB legal masthead, and the sissies caved in like a tent made of single-ply Kleenex. This is the future of free speech? Where's Rand Paul? Where's Saul Alinsky? Three seconds of "thuhhhh" -- why deny it, of course, it came from a Yankee broadcast -- is so sacred that -- in the context of parody, of satire, of humor -- MLB must exorcize it from the airwaves. WTF?

Maury, we're non-commericial. We're small. We do this for fun. Oh, hell, why bother continuing, Maury, here's the reality: MLB wasn't earning money from us, and it pays lawyers a lot of money... so...

Maury, we're counting on you. Bring us on your show.
 Let thuuuuuuuuh people decide.


richinvegas said...

Forget Maury. Go with Springer. That way you can get some well-deserved licks in and meet some trailer park hoochies!

P.S.-MLB must be in great shape if this is what they're spending their time and money on. What's the over/under on teams going BK this year?

Joe De Pastry said...

Jim Rome.