Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Yankees to 2010: DROP DEAD

The truth-fearing, anti-fan Yankee Luddites have banned access to IT IS HIGH during games. 

The Bronx No-Bloggers have announced they will allow no iPads into the stadium. This follows their previous stance against laptops. 

This declaration of war on the Internet is, in itself, a thinly veiled attempt to break the backs of fans who seek the unadulterated truth supplied by websites such as this, from voices such as Alphonso, who still must hide in shadowy bars and restroom stalls out of fear for reprisals from Andy Philips and Wilson Betemit.   

Want to come to a Yankee game? Bring your abacus. Bring your quill pen and sidewalk chalk. But leave the new millenium behind. The Yankees don't want your screen to obscure the JumboTron.

They don't want you to know the IT IS HIGH truth, which is the finest truth of all: true truth.


Anonymous said...

Only Yankee-approved distractions such as the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar are allowed. Too bad the Peter Max gallery is gone; I really like to look at sports-related artwork instead of the actual game.

Alibi Ike said...

the base-ball game is merely a distraction from gentlemen discussing metaphysics and the wisdom of that ghastly canal they plan to build across the state.

Dare for a pinch of snuff, Eustace?