DEAR NEW YORK TABLOIDS

BOYCOTT MLB ON YOUR BACK PAGES UNTIL THE LOCKOUT ENDS!

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Virtual Game 2: Yanks Buckshot, Pluck and Devour Birds, 8-0. Stanton Stays Idle.

In virtual baseball today, the NewYork Yankees won their second straight, defeating the Baltimore Orioles, 8-0.

Yankees starter Masahiro Tanaka shut down the Birds for six innings, while Gleyber Torres hit two more home runs, two doubles, and a single.

Clint Frazier had three more hits for the Yanks, but frightened the crowd by running into the top of the dugout on his return from the field, and knocking himself out.

Giancarlo Stanton, who was expected to play today, instead remained sidelined after reporting back pains due to his bench pressing two models at the same time.

"Giancarlo could have played if it were the World Series," manager Ma Boone told the press.  "I mean, not if it were an important, September game, or a divisional series game.  But the World Series, sure.  As for the League Championship Series, I dunno.  It's too hard to say."

In other Yankees developments, D.J. LeMahieu did everything right.



7 comments:

13bit said...

I like the virtual game paradigm. Keep them coming.

el duque said...

I smell a pennant!

Parson Tom said...

Yankees win! THUUUUHHHHHHHH YANKEES WIN!

Anonymous said...

Boone is an idiot! We should have won that game 10-0!

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

True. There was a moment when a safety squeeze would've been in order...

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I smell a sweep! Bludgeon those O’s.

Isiyku Abdulahi said...



I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.