Sunday, March 29, 2020

Virtual Game Three: Yanks Wide-Net, Bludgeon, Behead, Pluck, Devour Birds. Stanton Sits but Injures Coccyx.

The New York Yankees, off to a flying start in the world of virtual baseball this season, crushed the Orioles again in Camden Yards, by a score of 10-2.

Gleyber Torres once again excelled in his favorite ballpark, hitting for the cycle, adding another home run, knocking manager Brandon Hyde unconscious with a foul ball, and reducing the Orioles broadcast team to hysterical weeping.

Yankees starter J.A. Happ was reportedly incensed by the 14 actual Orioles fans in attendance, who at one point formed a chorus line atop the Baltimore dugout, and chanted:

"Happ, Happ,
He's got no sap!"

Happ responded with seven shutout innings, which delighted the 38,140 Yankees fans who had come down from New York to see the game.

Manager Aaron Boone decided to once again sit slugger Giancarlo Stanton, "just as a precautionary measure," but soon after Stanton emerged from the clubhouse and took his seat in the dugout, he began to complain of a sharp pain in his coccyx.  He was sent to a local hospital for tests.

For the third consecutive game, D.J. LeMahieu did everything right.


el duque said...

I am definitely smelling a pennant.

Unknown said...

This is amazing. I knew they had it in them!

Platoni said...

Boone's bullpen management shortcomings on display once again, smh. He keeps coddling these multi-millionaires. Once we play some real teams, they'll get crushed

TheWinWarblist said...

Can someone please post the boxscore?

Anonymous said...

AP Astros 6 Angels 4

The Astros (3-0) won their third consecutive game today 18-4 over the winless (0-3)California Angles. As in their other two victories all eighteen runs were scored in the first inning when a combination of Angels pitchers hit the first Twenty-One Astros batters with high and tight fastballs.

Interim manager Dusty Baker in an interview after the game asked, "How many more games until we play the Red Sox?"

The Astros and what remains of their now decimated and concussed team move on to face the Oakland A's next.

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Glad to get the out-of-town reports, Doug! Anybody know how the Mets are faring?

Anonymous said...

I'll let you know tomorrow.

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