As the empire was crumbling yesterday, Hank Steinbrenner told the Murdoch Beagle...
Night visits to their homes...
"This is going to get turned around. If it’s not turned around this year, then it will be turned around next year, by force if we have to.”
So what does he have in mind?
The team has several alternatives.
Confiscating A-Rod's children...
Promoting a new crop of prospects from Scranton...
Tommy John surgery for bullpen slackers...
Supplement Joba Chamberlain with several robot duplicates.
Night visits to their homes...
Maybe Mussina will throw harder when the team takes his dog...
Teach Carl Pavano the art of discipline.
Hopefully, we'll improve. Hate to think of the alternative...
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3 comments:
No no no.....you took that all wrong. By force means he'll be using the Force to move pitches by opposing pitchers to right over the sweetspot on the bats of the Yankees. He'll also use it to make Mussina's fastball faster and Wangs sinker literally fall into the plate. And if Joe has a problem with this, Hank will use Darth Vadar's Force Choke hold on him until Matingly comes back to manager.
True story.
Hank. I am your father.
I'm glad you put up the Elian picture. Haven't seen it in a long time. Jogged my memory. What's up with the SWAT guy's outfit? He looks like he hit the local Army-Navy store and ransacked a high school ski team's locker to gear up for the mission. I don't know who that man is, but I think we should strongly consider reaching out to him and offering him the position of IIH, IIF, IIc Security Chief. Somebody get on this.
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