Thursday, April 24, 2008

Alphonso Reveals Truth about Ian and Phil

I've been sitting on this "bombshell" for two years.
As you will undoubtedly perceive, I am breaking a key personal rule in sharing this with you.
Specifically, I have never told the truth to anyone about anything. That's why I have been successful as an "in the field " reporter for IIHIIFIIc.

Here goes: Phil Hughes' fastball is not in the mid nineties. It is in the low 70's. His key to minor league ( and high school ) success was always in creating the perception that he threw in the mid nineties.
Phil had a buddy ( see photo above ) carry a rigged radar gun to all his games . The technology was such that his gun could hyper-link to any scoreboard, pre-empt the "official" LED posting, and show a fabricated number for his behind the head fastball.

As for Ian, he never lied.
His fastball is really a "floater." It leaves his hand at about 80mph and then hesitates halfway to the plate. On average, let's just say Ian's fastball makes Mike Mussina's FB look like Nolan Ryan's at his peak.
Ian wins only when he can demonstrate superior intelligence to his opponents.

So Ian and Phil both depend upon deception, buffoonery and ball placement for success.
So far, they have not been placing any of their balls in the right spots.
With their money, it is just a matter of time.

1 comment:

Sean said...

Your site rules.