Monday, April 28, 2008

Excerpt of Conversation between Roger Clemens, Mindy McCready, Monica Lewinsky and Michael Jordan


During another Big Apple excursion, the two holed up in the trendy SoHo Grand and later partied with Monica Lewinsky and Michael Jordan. McCready, according to a source, even bummed a cigar off His Airness to give to Clemens.


MINDY: … and so when Rocket’s jet hits the tarmac, BLOOEY, his knee flies up and breaks my nose! It's just a dang accident, fer crissakes, but there's blood everywhere. You'd think I was some crazy lady. Say, anybody got OxyContin?

ROGER: Ha. Ain’t she something? I call her my "road trip honeybee," because she buzzes my hive with her sweet nectar. Speaking of nectar, who’s low on Rocket Fuel? You, Mona?

MONICA: Could you please freshen my 7&7.

MINDY: I was in a seven-on-seven once. A coupla Dallas Cowboy linebackers. Got myself two busted ribs and a Charley Horse. Wrote a song about it, “Hit Me Again and I’ll Have Your Truck.”

MICHAEL: I remember that song. Dennis Rodman used to warm up to it, wearing full bridal dress.

MINDY: I think I dated Dennis Rodman. I lost four teeth. They used to talk about him going to the backboard. What he really did was go to the bedboard.

ROGER: Hah. Ain’t she something? You should have seen her in 10th grade. Hey, none of you are with Child Protective, right? Good. So, Mona, when you’re not Presidential interning – you know, all that secret stuff you do for national security -- you follow baseball?

MONICA: A little. My friends call me Calvin Schiraldi, because I blew the Biggest Save of My Career.

ROGER: Well, heh, you stay away from that Bill Clinton. Listen, kid, you got something special, and that creep can't carry your shoes. Yeah, you may be a little chubby, but you got a major league strike zone. Tell you what: Look me up in Houston, and I'll line you up with Jose Canseco.

MINDY: Jose Canseco? He's got himself a twin brother, right? I think I dated them once. Broke my wrist with a tire iron. Hey, about that OxyContin...

1 comment:

michael kei said...

His next kid will be named Kindy.