DEAR NEW YORK TABLOIDS

BOYCOTT MLB ON YOUR BACK PAGES UNTIL THE LOCKOUT ENDS!

Friday, April 18, 2008

The new Youk? 'Coby Doinked Twice

Forgotten in last night's Moose-dropping (Thanks, Stanford.) was the double-doinking of Jacoby Ellsbury and the Manny fly-by, a sign that Kyle Farnsworth has finally found an al Qaeda-esque role with the team.

But what about Kevin Youkilis?

Not a scratch. Not a cracked rib. No loss of IQ points.

No respect.

Has Youk been replaced as the target of our affections?

We at IT IS HIGH hope not. We need Youk the Target.
Nobody philosophizes about the potential fractured skull better than Youk. Moreso, he asks why. (Man is not supposed to ask why.) Youk questions what he did to deserve such suffering.

To us, he is the Bernard Malamud of baseball.

Therefore, we offer this compromise:

Continue to hit Ellsbury whenever possible. He's young. He'll heel. And let's start throwing at Manny. They don't hesitate to throw at ARod.

But let's not forget Youk. He needs to be loved.

Fish gotta swim, bird gotta fly.
Youk gotta duck when comin' in high.

No comments: