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Monday, July 13, 2020

Clint Frazier wears a mask while batting, and other observations from watching an intra-squad game

Breaking: Clint Frazier wears a mask and looks awesome, even when striking out. (Note: I suspect he's growing a secret beard.) 

Yesterday, Gerrit Cole mowed down the opposition, if that's what you want to call his teammates. Most batters looked helpless. (Kyle Higashioka swung like a broken subway turnstile.) But Frazier, in his second appearance, worked a walk. 

At that point, something especially weird happened. Red Thunder marched back to the dugout. He didn't run the bases, because of his flattened feet. Crazy, eh? Then, even without Frazier on first, Cole pitched from a stretch, holding an imaginary runner on base. Weirder.

Without fans, that's how everything feels. It's just surreal. More like a celebrity TV game show than professional sporting event. On a hot Sunday afternoon, it was a transmission from Mars, a fever dream from a past incarnation. These must be the hallucinations that COVID sufferers experience.

Rosell Hererra fired a laser from RF to throw out the newly svelte Luke Voit at third. Has everybody been dieting? Gardy still looks like Gardy. And get this: Jack Curry is the best announcer on YES, when it comes to explaining a game. Could he someday try play-by-play?

I have a feeling that between now and October, we will see a version of baseball - and of America - unlike anything we have ever known.

Oh, and once again, I've had to reset the injury clock.


6 comments:

TheWinWarblist said...

It's something ...

TheWinWarblist said...

DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!!

Stay safe!! Stay distant!! Wear a mask!! Wash your hands!! FUCK YOU HAL!!!!!!!





Seriously, forever and always, fuck you Hal.

JM said...

While big chunks of the country have let this thing get out of control--even when they saw what happened in NYC--the idea that baseball happens this year is just absurd.

Which means yes, they'll do it.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

If it's gonna happen...

This may be the sanest thing I’ve heard from America in far too long:

"Now that it has come to feel like 'second nature,' Clint Frazier plans to continue wearing a mask during regular-season games. 'I'm just trying to show that it’s easy to do and it's the right thing to do.' he said. 'Fuck you Hal,' he stated emphatically."

Uh… I made up that last part. Somehow, these three words have gotten stuck in my head. I wonder where they came from...

D.B. Cooper said...

Should be a threat to steal every time he is on base.

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