Monday, July 20, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Join the Cole Train! Gerrit Steams Through Cards, Gets Yanks Rolling In Second Half.

Gerrit Cole got the Yankees back on track in virtual baseball today, ending a second-half mini-slump as he pitched seven innings of two-hit, shutout baseball against the St. Louis Cardinals.

With the Yanks already holding a big lead, Manager Ma Boone gave King Cole the rest of the afternoon off.  Adam Ottavino and Chad Green had no trouble bringing home a 9-0 win.

Feeding the Cole Train's engine, in an inexcusably tortured metaphor, were the big wood of Miguel Andujar, Mike Ford, and The Gleyber, all of whom homered.  Aaron Judge went 4-4 with a pair of two-baggers, and was still elated by how the good doctors at Columbia-Presbyterian managed to detect and remove a nine-inch nail from his foot.  Judge promised that if he were ever forced to confront the doctors in a coliseum during some sort of gladiatorial games, he would not kill them.

The Yanks, now 67-31, head home having lost a game to the TB Rays, who they now trail by 3.

"They're persistent little buggers," conceded Boone.  "But we'll get them in the end."


JM said...

Hoss, what will happen to the virtual season when the real season starts? Will it disappear into a parallel universe?

13bit said...

I am greatly preferring the virtual season. I prefer it to the FAKE "real" season. I prefer it to the news of unidentified stormtroopers being sent in to police American cities. I prefer it to news of the pandemic burning its way across the country, I prefer it to the cancel culture follies being played out in the arts, academia and other public arenas. I prefer it to the morons sitting on their wooden restaurant parking spot barges all over the west village. I prefer it to the memories of the swimming in my local city pool that float back to my consciousness while I wish I could swim. I prefer it to most things now. In virtual baseball, the virtual IIHIIF contingent is due to "go to the game," I believe this Thursday. I hope that the virtual Yankees come through with a win, but I am used to being disappointed - in real, as well as virtual, life...

13bit said...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks, guys. I feel the same way, Bitty.

It looks as though the signals from Virtual World 1 are indeed holding strong. So...on we'll go!

Isiyku Abdulahi said...

I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.