As they watch a tired and listless Yankee lineup, John & Suzyn look ready to explode

Midway into yesterday's sad and exhausting loss, John Sterling suddenly latched upon a surgical path forward. 

The Yankees were down 4-0 in the fifth, with Jay Bruce leading off - prompting the Rays' dramatic over-shift, which happens whenever an old school, dead-end, pull hitter comes to bat.

The Master marveled at the open space on the left side of the infield, a veritable pasture, a meadow, a parking lot. Why, if Bruce - cagey veteran that he is - could simply lay one down, he could walk to first, he could literally walk to first. John also noted that, down by four, the Yankees certainly needed a base runner more than a homer. You could feel John's hopes rising - hoping against hope that Bruce could bunt his way to first.

Of course, he didn't. 

Bruce struck out, swinging on a 2-2 pitch. (Reality check: In his 13 year career, he has three sacrifice bunts.) DJ LeMahieu followed suit with a strikeout and, after Aaron Judge singled, Aaron Hicks fanned to christen the inning as a threesome of futility. John didn't mention bunting again. My guess: He won't use the word for a week.

Earlier, he had praised Brett Gardner's double to left, saying it was exactly what the Yankees needed - hitters adapting to the situation, taking a pitch to the opposite field. 

What a concept: Adapting.  

Today, the Death Barge will unveil its latest project, Roughned Odor, who has in his rather dreary career become a poster child for refusal to adapt. Odor is a classic HR/K/W batter - mostly Ks - who was recently jettisoned by Texas because that miserable franchise had simply seen enough of him. 

It's possible that the humiliation of being waived will change Odor, for a week or two, anyway. 

Sometimes, players yearn to prove their old employers wrong, for a week or two, anyway. And in this case, Odor would be basically replacing Bruce, a veteran outfielder who has been forced to play 1B, and who is hitting .111. (10 strikeouts in 27 at bats.)

Every damning assessment of the Yankees must start with this caveat: It's early in the season.

Too early to scream. Too early to throw things. Too early to call for heads to roll.

But it's not too early to wonder... WTF? 

How can a veteran team start a season looking so listless and lifeless? Is there a sparkplug on this roster? Because Mount Sterling is getting ready to blow.