Friday, April 4, 2008

Casualties Anticipated Tonite as Yank-Ray "Cease Fire" Goes to Test

WASHINGTON _ President George W. Bush called tonight's impending battle against the 2008 Grapefruit Champion Tampa Bay Rays, formerly Devil Rays, a “defining moment" if Yank forces are to take control of the AL East.

The Rays are coming off the greatest achievement in their franchise history: an exhibition championship that was climaxed by a home plate collision that injured a 21-year-old Yankee catcher named Francisco Cervelli.

Rays defended the blind-siding of Cervelli in that, hey, they were sick and tired of games being suspended as ties, or stopped because pitchers had gone over their counts, and, by golly, it pissed them off, especially when they’re trying to win an exhibition championship.

Bush praised the emerging Tampa leadership of manager Joe Maddon.

New Yorkers have sworn allegiance to the shadowy horse cleric and Yank strongman Hank Steinbrenner.

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