Virtual Baseball: Sons of Giants Chop Down Big Maple, As Yanks Fall.

The Virtual Toronto Blue Jays had the Yankees crying "Timber!" tonight in the Rogers Cetnre, as monster smashes by Bo Bichette and Vlad the Lad, Jr., brought the visitors from the south down, 6-4.

The Yanks got out to a quick lead on home runs by D.J.  LeMahieu and The Gleyber.  But the son of Bo, son of Vlad, sons of bankers, sons of lawyers, turned James Paxton around and made him say good night!  The three-run megillas off the bats of both emerging superstars were all the birds of a different plumage than the Yanks have become accustomed to, needed.

"Suzyn, something tells me we're not in Baltimore anymore," Clyde Frazier japed from the press box as the first of the rocket blasts took flight.

All sports news took a back page to the mass rally President Donald Trump's re-election campaign held at Mount Rushmore tonight, though.  Attendance even exceeded the 2 million President Trump had predicted, with red vans and RVs jamming the highways down to Oklahoma and Denver, Colorado.

In a tragic mishap, thousands of Mr. Trump's most enthusiastic adherents caused the noses of Thomas Jefferson and George Washington they had massed on to collapse, plunging them, granite noses and all, several hundred feet.  President Trump announced that repair work on the gigantic edifices would begin immediately.

With the Dow now above 50,000 and unemployment all but nonexistent, another four years for the president seems all but assured, especially since Democrats are becoming increasingly agitated about the prospect of nominating frontrunner Amy Klobuchar, a.k.a.,"The Minnesota Mesmerizer."