Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Getaway Day Thoughts: Apparently, Chris Stewart's great play at Fenway didn't galvanize the team

I'm off on a National Lampoon Family Vacation, leaving the house keys to Mustang for a week. I might fire off a furious, blood-inked note from some wi-fi hobo jungle - Mt. Waldman is ready to pop - but probably, I'll self-medicate with my head in a bucket of ice-water.

Getaway Day thoughts:

1. Chris Stewart's catch/throw out - the greatest moment of 2013 - spared us from the ridicule of a Fenway sweep, but little more. (He might need to do it again to save us from a sweep in Texas.) A three-run lead against these Yankees is an dam burst. Our only successes come against cans of tomatoes. This is the saddest Yankee lineup since 1990, and the worst may be yet to come.

2. I'm with Mustang: We should re-devote this blog to John and Suzyn, who will struggle to find hope in this cresting August/September hell period. Something tells me that this could be their final season in the booth. We need to chronicle it.

3. Has anybody else realized how creepy it is that Alphonso Soriano might return at the exact moment Alex Rodriguez leaves? We traded Sori for A-Rod, and now we get him back, just as A-Rod goes away? Booga-booga.

4. Sorry, but who can get excited about Sori? He's Vernon Wells II. When the Gammonites say we gave up "just a mid-level prospect" for him, keep in mind that a) our system's best prospects are "mid-level," b) Theo Epstein is not our friend, c) he's had a month to scout our system, and d) we have squandered major talent - from Damaso Garcia to Jay Buhner - in the throes of panicked summers. This is a dangerous move. Worst, we now have both Wells and Soriano to drag down the team next year - holding roster slots and keeping the Mustelliers from ever getting a chance - until it's obvious they are kaput. For weeks, I have dreaded just such a deal.

5. OK... when I return, no more anger. I am declaring a personal WAR ON PESSIMISM.  My goal will be to fill the Yankiverse with glee, and not in the Corey Monteith sense, either.

We must honor this Yankee team for what it is: A collection of castoffs that is desperately trying, that lacks the physical tools to win, and that was inevitable, considering the newly tapered financial structure of baseball.  These players will perform a public service: They will weed from our ranks all fans who only root for the Yankees because they win.

This has been a long time coming. But you cannot appreciate Bernie Williams unless you experience No Neck Williams.

It's here, folks. The Yankacalypse.  See you next week. Mustang, back to you...


JM said...

Have a great vacation, Duque. I hope it's driven by Jeep.

KD said...

My last memories of Sori have him swatting at flies in the batter's box during the post season. They must have been flies because no baseball was anywhere nearby. Then I remember he was gone from the lineup the next season.

anyhow, welcome back Sori! We don't have as many bugs at the new Stadium, so you don't need to go after them with your bat any more.

SanJoseKid said...

First they sign Kevin Youkilis. Now they want to trade for Alfonso Soriano? They get paid to make decisions? Hey, Cash, you want Roberto Kelly's phone number? Duque's got the right idea. Time to get out of town. I would recommend somewhere where there is little baseball news, like maybe Tora Bora.

Howard Caverns said...

I agree with Mustang. Focus on the comings and goings of John and Suzyn (are they an item?).
In the meantime, please reach me at the Hebrew Home. (Have I mentioned it's like a Northeast college campus with cylinders of oxygen instead of kegs of beer?)

KD said...

John: Must one be Jewish to experience the wonder that is the Hebrew Home?

Tha Fabulous SUZYN WALDMAN, from the booth, said...

A brilliant idea- focus on the glamorous Suzyn Waldman! Suzyn's Fashion Tips. Suzyn's Summer Recipes. Suzyn makes an attractive bookend out of a shoebox and a brick. Wheee! Summer fun in the booth! Would you like to see some revealing photos of Jayson Nix that I snapped (surreptitiously) in the Yankee clubhouse? YOWZA!