Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Yanknado: We are swirling down the drain

Six games out and fading. Jeter unable to heal, A-Rod facing a ban, nobody at Scranton to inspire long-range hope, and - ouch - we lose to Minnesota, our Minnie Mouses, with another one-run outing. One and done: The 2013 team motto. The Unibombers.

I can't remember an All Star break with less hope. Will we really resume play next week in Boston with Travis Hafner and Vernon Wells batting three/four - pretending there is believe they'll hit? Last August, we finally punted on Andruw Jones, whose season mirrored that of both of our "sluggers." Last year, we had options. This year, who replaces them? Jayson Nix?

Our hope has dwindled to the point of waiting to learn what we'll get in a trade for Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain - two career Yankees who once embodied our future. Neither could ever measure up to our expectations. Soon, we will hang a dead bird around their necks and banish them to another city - one with hope - probably for little more than a right-handed Hafner. Does anyone not expect them to be revived, once free from the demoralizing Yankee outlook?

In the final weeks of 2008, the Yankees played so listlessly that a Greek chorus of critics, myself included, called for the trading of Robinson Cano. At one point, in the last gasp of our last meaningful game, he watched a ball roll into right field with barely a wave. That's what happens to hopeless Yankees in September, folks. That's how awful it gets. And right now, it sure looks as though we are going there.

We are going to have to start thinking about a backup subject for this blog. 


KD said...

To fill the hours, begin work now on IIHIIFIIc Yankeographies of Hafner and Wells. Others too. there are so many to choose from!

JM said...

The Yankee mouthpieces are talking about Girardi as Manager of the Year. It's enough to make you choke on your Utz potato chips.

el duque said...

Dammit John M, we must embrace that full-throatedly: It will be our greatest satire of Yankee fandom!

Girardi for MoY!

Suzyn's Bitch said...

And yet, The Bard continues to drone on and on... "only six back in the loss column..." Unibombers, Indeed!