Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Hopeless in HOPE Week

Every year, for one week, the Yankees do good deeds.  They visit sick children and give attention to worthy causes.  You can't mock or criticize HOPE Week. It's a wonderful thing. But I can never forget that it's also the week Hideki Irabu committed suicide.

Yankee HOPE week has a tinge of "Ronald McDonald House" self-promotion. Yes, it's a great gesture, but it would be a little greater if they didn't parlay it so deftly into a p.r. blitz. It's like the Full-Employment Act for publicists. Still, if we're looking for purity or morality in sports - that ship sailed long ago, eh?

But make no mistake about the '13 Yankees: They have killed hope within their fan base. It's sad, because the team has fought hard to get where it is - fourth place in the AL East. And you can't blame the players, in the old Mel Hall or Raul Mondesi way. Travis Hafner and Vernon Wells are fine fellows. But when they step to the plate, I now leave the room.

I can't take it anymore. I cannot bear to watch them go through their mating dances with retirement. I can't watch another pop-up, grounder or whiff on a curve ball in the dirt. Hafner's biggest clutch at-bat recently was a four-pitch walk, while John and Suzyn marveled at his ability to not swing. Wells' moment in the sun came a moment later, in a double-play ground ball punched through a drawn-in infield. It drove home the winning run, and we doused him with Gatorade. Then they went back to their pop-ups.

I've fallen into the abyss - the sense that we're better off if they never get another hit. These small rays of hope merely prolong the agony.

Nobody in the minors can save this team. If Jeter and A-Rod were 10 years younger and healthy, they might rouse this offense. Now, it's going to be sad. This weekend, we'll likely rush Jeter back before he's ready. And today, A-Rod goes before Bud Selig's Clown Court, which - if ESPN is correct - has already reached its verdict. In fact, it made its decision months ago.

Nobody is coming in a trade. We are a team built from the scrap heap, and whenever I see a Cespedes or Puig, or a Harper or a Trout, I want to cry. It's been eight years since we welcomed a young, rising star - Robbie Cano. Now, could anyone blame him for running to a team next winter that will actually be trying to build a winner?

How can we be so hopeless?

Well, cheer up, dammit! We are on target to make our $189 million payroll! Rejoice, Yankiverse! And let us praise the Yankees for their good deeds. They are restoring fiscal integrity to the organization and helping a downtrodden charity - the Mets - become New York's top baseball team. (Look around, folks, they already are.) It's HOPE Week somewhere - no, everywhere - except here.


JM said...

I think the entire bullpen should get the night off whenever CC pitches. Girardi will leave him in no matter how out of gas he is, like he did again last night. And when you score only one run, leaving a guy in to give up an extra run or two makes a difference.

Aced again.

Isn't Shields about 74 by now? I was shocked that he's still pitching at all. Our inability to hit him is yet another low point in a season of low points.

Offensive Indifference strikes again. Can we call up Dante Bichette now? Just so he gets a couple games in the bigs before he gives up in five years.

KD said...

It is getting to be so damn hopeless that they bring in dorks like Adam Sandler for an interview DURING THE GAME!! I mean, WTF is that about? Are the games THAT dull and boring? Well, yes, actually, and that's the really sad part.

Hope week may be just fine but it is all about publicity. otherwise, they could do their good deeds without anyone having to know. But where's the profit in that?

KD said...

John M: here's a great publicity idea that could put some fannies in the seats. Bring in some random fan in attendance and let him/her (HER!!) play any position they'd like for an inning. What fun! and, hey, what could it hurt?

Chicken middle-aged said...

The sky has fallen!

Rex Reed said...

Instead of Sandler, bring in Mustang for a human sacrifice during the hometown 5th. Might do juju wonders during Hope Week

joe de pastry said...

Cardinals released Wigginton, another first baseman to add to our rotation.
And Lillibridge has 6 homers in 17games for the Underground Railroaders--bring him up to play third!

Nostradamus Berra said...

When the Yankees occupy a new Stadium and possess two Travises on their roster, then shall a volcano burst forth in Mexico and disaster strike the Bronx. Only the ritual sacrifice of Joe Girardi, with a Mayan obsidian blade, in centerfield, will remove the curse.

JM said...

KD--I like it. Fan position player for a day. Can't be much worse, has to be a lot funnier.

Of course, Rex has a helluva idea there, too. And so does Nosty Berra.

This is the kind of creativity that's obviously lacking in the Yankees' front office and field management. If we had their jobs, how much worse would the team or its 2013 record really be? Probably would be a lot better.

Stang said...

If I were a better blogger, you wouldn't have to wish me dead!