Saturday, July 13, 2013

All this time, we weren't waiting for Jeter; we were waiting for Minnesota

It's rare to find a competitor who respects you, honors you, and who - in times of desperation - always extends to you the Helping Hand of Friendship. Yes, I'm talking about our heroes from the Iron Range. Hats off to our brothers from Minnesota, the Gopher State!

Too often, we take for granted those who aren't afraid to give more than they receive - players who are not always muttering "Me, me, me...!" - a team of fine fellows like the Twins. And during Hope Week, nobody restores more hope among Yankee fans than this bunch of stalwarts, who I am proud to call our opponent.

In the last 39 games, we are 32 and 7 against Minnesota, and I for one want to express this blessing of thanks:

Boys, while you're in the Big Apple, I hope each of you enjoys himself to the limit - back alley drug deals, late night punk shows, Ecstasy-laced dance raves and, of course, the finest hookers east of Trenton. We need two more games, Minnesota. That's all. Your job is nearly done. And on behalf of the Yankiverse, let me say "Thank you, o, Stars of the North."

7 comments:

KD said...

No Jeet last night. Miserable weather. The damn Youk banner on the Stadium still taunts me. Yankee fans seem oblivious to this outrage. Alphonso, help me! I know you have pull in the Yankiverse. Make them take it down!!

el duque said...

God, I didn't know about the Youk banner.

Have you seen White House Down? We may have to mount a similar paramilitary operation.

Kevin Youkilis, former MLB player said...

AH HA HA HA! The Curse of the Youk continues! Thanks for playing into my hands, Cash. AH HA HA HA! Can't wait to give Jeter a hot foot in the dugout.

Carlos Pena 1B said...

Just got the word, right under the trade deadline. The Yankees have traded for me! Didn't think I'd make it to the Bronx until I was 42 or 43 years old. What a novelty, eh? An aging first baseman in the Yankee lineup. And I bat left-handed! Suzyn, would you like to interview me? I have strong opinions about "Moneyball", too. Don't you think I deserved a cameo?

Anonymous said...

Note on twitter this morning from Jeff Quagliata @YesToResearch: "Happy Birthday to Kei Igawa who is 3-2 with a 1.78 ERA in 6 starts with the Orix Buffaloes this year."


Red Sox traded for a lefty last night. How about Yankees counter by signing Kei again?

KD said...

I'm up for an adventure. Next Friday home game I'll email you a photo of the Youk banner. It's near Gate 8. It will make Alphonso's blood boil.

el duque said...

We'll post it and see what happens.