Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Ding Dong, Scott Boras is gone; but does a New York State of Mind mean Robbie Cano is in the bag? Dream on...

Yesterday, to read your cell phone, the Yankiverse enjoyed its happiest day since liberating Ichiro from the basement of the Space Needle.  What brought these drunken smiles? It was news on the Munchkin wire that Robbie Cano's house landed on Scott Boras, the wicked agent with the green skin and pointy black hat. Cano fired MLB's most hated agent and replaced him with Beyonce - or Jay-Z, anyway - a Yankee fan who surely won't let our team lose our best player.

Sez the Gray Lady: "For the Yankees...  a heartening development."

Sez Joel Sherman:  "... a revelation by Cano that all but screams: “Keep me in The Bronx.”

Sez the Daily News: "... a boost in negotiations with the Yankees..."

Of course, any mention of - dare we say the name? - Scott Boras brought a fresh barrage of grenades from the aspiring Gammonites, who regularly toady up to Bud Selig - the $25 million per year Commissioner. Once again, the players and agents are stealing hard-earned money from the poor owners.  My fave came from USA Today: "[Boras] plays to the player’s professional pride and greed to pad his pockets. Don’t forget that each and every one of his contracts puts money where he wants it most, in his wallet."

Dear God, where do you start?

OK, let's agree that baseball players make too much money. We fans irrationally yearn for the days when Richie Hebner dug graves in the off-season, and thus players understood the working life of Americans, who once put them on so high a pedestal. Well... that ship sure sailed. But don't blame the agents. And don't blame the union. It was the avalanche of TV and marketing money that fans were willing to bestow on these federally protected trust monopolies - a rain of coins that fell upon the owners, who merely had to shovel up the money and drive to the bank.

Believe it or not, a lot of Yankee fans still blame the Arod contract on Scott Boras. (Helloooo? A quick reminder: Arod fired Boras, and THEN the Yankees negotiated their 10-year disaster.) Whenever a Boras player makes too much money, the sports world writhes and screams about the injustice - not the owner who paid it.

Are we to believe Jay-Z is working for the Yankees? Is he a secret Yankee operative, who will sell out Robbie so the team can rebuild in two years, rather than four? That would be great! Good grief, we'll get all the players! We'll have Carmelo Anthony and Lebron James! Do we honestly believe that Cano will sign a contract out of love for his team... intoxicated by a New York State of Mind?

Just remember this, a kiss is still a kiss... And the Steinbrothers - whose dad (rest in peace) happened to pass away in the period of huge inheritance tax breaks, saving them millions upon millions of dollars - cling to every penny like nickel deposit bottles from a homeless person's shopping cart. Their father understood that every show in New York demands fresh new stars, exciting new attractions - and every year, he pulled in the fannies by unveiling the likes of Reggie, Catfish, the Giambino, Moose, Irabu, et al. Win or lose, star or dud, he brought in new prime meat.

These Magoos? They wouldn't bid on Darvish. They wouldn't bid on Chapman. They wouldn't bid on Cespedes. They wouldn't even bid on Jose Soler, a rising star now for the Cubs. Nope, they want the Yankiverse to celebrate rescue and salvage operations for Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay, Ben Francisco and Brennan Boesch. Good luck with that.

Look... the season's early, a lot can happen, and I swear we're hoping for the best. When Cano and Youk struck out Monday with the tying runs on base, our hearts sank. But if this were a Magic 8-Ball, the message would read: SIGNS POINT TO NO on this brutal season. And if in June the Yankees face the negativity they're already conjuring, we're nuts to think Jay-Z will rescue us, or if it matters who is representing Robbie Cano.

Folks, it's not about who negotiates for Robbie. It's all about the other side of that table. And yesterday, nothing changed.

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