Saturday, April 13, 2013

Hey Mr. Selig, will you pay me to testify against Arod?

OK, now I get it. Major League Baseball has finally become a kangaroo court.

According to the Internet, MLB recently lost out in a bidding war over documents that it believes might incriminate evil Alex Rodriguez, tying him to a doping clinic. Thus, it has leaked to to the media another Arod-bashing avalanche of stories. How dare he buy those documents. Not fair! How can justice be served when MLB can't even buy evidence! Outrage. Scandal. MLB has been out-bidded in its attempt to buy evidence.

Buying evidence. Yep, welcome to Guatamala.

Let's forget that this so-called "investigation," which authorities have refused not to join, is now turning rumor mongering into a profit-making enterprise. Let's forget that, in essence, what we've just seen is a baseball player being blackmailed publicly by a clinic with questionable moral standards. ("So Mr. Rodriguez, we would be willing to sell YOU notes... rather than Mr. Selig.") Today's talking points are that evil-mean, moneybags Arod has spent more money than MLB to protect the last vestiges of his name. My god, that's terrible. You'd think he chose playing in large market over Seattle.

1. Wasn't it Ronald Reagan who refused to deal with hostage-takers, (until re-election made it expedient), because everybody knew the end-game: They just take more hostages.

In today's NYTimes, MLB is said to have paid ex-employees thousands of dollars to talk.

Those ex-employees were paid for the time they spent talking with baseball’s investigators, the two people said, with the payments not believed to have exceeded several thousand dollars.

2. It's another public salvo in the ongoing character assassination that - who cannot see this coming? - will lead to Arod's inevitable suspension - if not expulsion - from the Yankees and record books. They want this so bad they can taste it. And who will defend Alex Rodriguez? The Yankees? Hell no. They'd love a legal reason to get out from under the contract they initiated. If Arod's name is trashed, and he's finally cut loose, that's free money. The fans? Hell no. He's never been a fan-friendly player. And most importantly, he's not hitting. (Beneath all this anti-Arod fervor, ask yourself: Would this be happening if Arod was still batting .320?)

3. MLB has just managed to erect a national billboard that says: WE PAY TOP DOLLAR FOR EVIDENCE. Yep, they're ready to run through the trailer parks with twenty dollar bills. Next step should put Arod's picture in the Post Office with a bounty on his head.

4. The price of the so-called evidence - (by the way, lost in this landslide of accusations is Arod's denial; but who wants to hear that?) - is too high for MLB? Mercy me. Thus, mean old Mr. Arod out-bidded Bud Selig - who is paid more than $25 million a year by MLB. (In fact, that's an old figure; his salary was set to rise over the last few years. He might be making more than Arod now.) All that money going to Arod makes it hard for them to catch him. Not fair.

OK, look... it's not the most popular stance, defending Arod. But last time I looked, this was still a country where you were innocent until proven guilty. Somehow, MLB has set itself up as a major crime-fighting Justice League, without the subpoena powers or federal and state authorities - who have better things to do: (See BONDS, BARRY and CLEMENS, Roger, which will be filed under "FIASCO" and "WASTE OF MONEY.")

Of course, it doesn't matter what anybody says. The tar is hot, and the feathers are ready. Why would anyone want to stand in the way of a good necktie party?


Alphonso said...

Here is the problem:

You said ( and I paraphrase): " the last time you looked a person was considered innocent and had to be proven guilty. "

Well, when was the last time you looked?

Perhaps, when we were still a democracy not controlled by the Koch bros?

We haven't been a democracy for a long time now. We are a theocracy, often controlled by fascist thugs called tea party congressmen, former staffers and now lobbyists.

So they can do what they want to A-Rod. He is no longer to big to fail or too big to jail.

He is not hitting .320.

And never will again.

el duque said...

He could come back in July, get hot, and lead us to the Series, with Pineda pitching games one, four and seven.

Stang said...

I think he could shoot up on third base in the first inning of a Yankee Red Sox game with 15 million viewers and the Yankees still couldn't cancel his contract if it doesn't have a doping clause. The only way to get rid of him is a Gillooly across the knees.

JM said...

I never liked A-Rod. Was really disappointed when he got here, felt rooked and appalled when he was resigned with a ridiculous contract, and have been let down time and again with his performance with the exception of the 2009 post-season.

But this media/MLB/Gammonite character assassination and the methods used to 'prove' what a horrible person he is has managed to outweigh all of that. I still don't like him much, but the witch hunt has pushed me to join his side, as strange, socially awkward and creepily homoerotic as that side sometimes seem to be.

This anti-A-Rod campaign is a travesty of a mockery of a sham.

JM said...

But how 'bout that triple play, eh?

Leon Trotsky said...

I don't really understand what the rest of you are saying, but this Alphonso fellow makes sense. All sports is class struggle!

John Cusak said...

OK. I admit it. I bought the incriminating documents for A-Rod, sold them to him, just so I had enough cash to buy an 80s sedan and a boombox. Sue me.

Mike Pepper said...

Where is the righteous indignation when the chubby kid walks down to the front row of the box seats and stands to call someone on his smartphone as Kuroda throws to Markakis? We want the Yankees to succeed for that kid? Wouldn't a 74 win season do that kid some good?

KD said...

The tea party is out to get ARod? Where do i sign up? I've already got my tricorner hat and musket.

joe de pastry said...

Just wait until Cervelli gets suspended for this Biogenesis thing, too. Then we'll hear even more whining about how it's ok to cheat, but not ok to cheat to catch cheaters. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?