Saturday, April 6, 2013

Was There A Failed Intervention? Are We Only Looking Inside The Box?

There are, suddenly, events taking place about which I know nothing.  Maybe.

A Ju-Ju intervention may have been launched from a secret location upstate which did not help in yesterday's game.  I hope that is not the case.  Are we dealing with North Korea here?

We have only so much " intervention"ammunition available, given the "sequestered " cuts in our intervention budgets, and so many future threats and assaults against this Yankee team are anticipated.

Nonetheless, a few queries for the troops and field commanders:

1.  How many more position players must be injured until Cashman is forced to bring up an actual rookie from our minor league system?

Answer:  Unlimited.  Cashman, like the recently "retired" Pope, is hiding something.  He desperately wants to conceal the fact that we don't have a single prospect who can, today ( or next year ),  successfully play in the major leagues.  Like the recent Pope's legacy, egregious crimes have been committed and covered up for years (why isn't he worried about God's reaction, or did he clear that up with a last minute phone call?), and there have been no consequences.  Similarly, we still employ the same dead-beat talent evaluators and no one has lost their job.

2.  Didn't we use a number one pick to select a future shortstop candidate, knowing that one day Derek would be slowing down or injured?  And that his back-up might get injured?  Can't we give him a shot?

Answer :  Readers of this blog read El Duque's recent recap of our top picks.  Cito Culver, a shortstop seen as" the future" was drafted number one by the Yankees 3 years ago.  I think he is now the back-up utility infielder and pinch runner for one of those independent league teams in the mid-west where Darryl Strawberry used to re-hab during his various post-fog comebacks.  Cito still weighs about 137 pounds and can't bunt.  The odds in Vegas of him ever playing in the major leagues is more than 1 million to 1.

3.  Anyone see the picture of Nova on the bench in today's Daily News?

Answer:   They could have taken that picture from the archives of any of his final 8 starts from last season.  His eyes are glazed, he displays the confidence of a muskrat surrounded by a pack of wolves,  and his body language says;   " I don't dare tell these guys my arm already hurts."

There is no doubt that an intervention is called for.  But of what nature?


Dennis Rodman said...

How about I help Cashman field a team of North Korean soldiers? They wouldn't affect the salary cap, since they would play for hot dogs and beer, which could be supplied wholesale by the Stadium concessions. Whichever guy plays the best gets a dream date with Suzyn. These fellas would also be willing to wash Girardi's car and mow his lawn.

Alphonso said...

A hot dog and beer would do wonders for those slaves of the regime.

So would baseball.

I have a theory that Haiti and North Korea are failed states because they do not play baseball. In South Korea and in The Domincan ( same island as Haiti ) they do.

Might make a difference in the Arab states, as well. Let's send them some balls and gloves.